Washpoppin
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ronaldreagancutupwhiletalking:
my uncle Clit got his leg blown off by a landmine in the War on Christmas
(via snufkunt)
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i have 3 moods:
- skips every song on my ipod
- lets the music play without interruption
- plays the same song on repeat for days
What’s an iPod?
been on tumblr so long my text post is outdated…
This was me yesterday when I saw someone thinking paint 3D was the original MS paint
they thought what…
my favorite thing about this post is that it originally started like this but someone snuck in another bullet along the way when you could still edit other people’s posts. the depth. the history. the tumblr lore. mystery author, i know you’re out there somewhere…
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top 10 inconsequential tumblr pet peeves are those posts welcoming in new tumblr users from other websites that include a list of “rules”/“cultural norms” for being on tumblr that are framed as universal edicts, even though they very clearly just reflect the OP and their relatively insular social circles and not a broader ‘site culture’ whatsoever
(via icicleteeth)
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(via patrik-star)
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THE BANANAS ARE GAY
THESE BANANAS
THE BANANAS IN PAJAMAS ARE GAY
BELATED HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE
(via smallmight)
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customer service lego lady is kinda bad 🤤
hold on a sec guys phone call
they are putting me down
(via smallmight)
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can you IMAGINE getting high for the first time and then witnessing nining eleven
(via charlesoberonn)
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more than anything i want this zucc vs musk cage match to go through and for zucc to pick elon up like a disobedient chihuahua and drop him directly on his head and walk out of the ring without saying anything as the commentators start freaking out because musk isn’t moving and the ref can’t find a pulse
Mark Zuckerberg has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do the funniest thing possible.
okay i was joking initially but like. think about it. brutally murdering the richest man on earth with your bare hands on live TV in front of dozens of cameras and a live audience is about the most impossible thing to get away with, and if it was anyone other than Zucc, they’d be shot dead immediately and that would be that. but which security guard is going to shoot Mark fucking Zuckerberg? you can’t just shoot him, you have to, like, bring him to justice with a trial, because we’re better than that or whatever. and because Zucc has more money and lawyers than God he could probably draw it out for years. decades, even. jury members mysteriously disappear and have to keep being replaced. the judge recuses themselves after receiving an email during the trial with an attached video of themselves sleeping the previous night, filmed from their laptop’s webcam (which they have a sticker over). the prosecutor’s car drives off a bridge on the way to trial and when it’s finally dredged up weeks later the brake lines were cut and there’s no sign of a body.
also hyperpop musicians would sample the head bonk
(via engagethelinkage)
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(via s-lumberland)